solitude | biondetta's Blog

I was alone with the baby, 4 yr old in the Kindergarten, Mama-in-Law called round and she drove us to the nearby beach, the baby was fed and content already, we went into the hotel cafe for a coffee, I said I would like to walk along the beach, Mama-in-law said" ok. go ahead love, I would prefer to stay here with the baby and watch the world go by, I'll 'phone you if need be".  So off I went, I walked along the deserted beach, nearly no wind either, so the sea was so tranquil, just a few sea gulls around, after a while I took my mind out of gear and just wandered slowly along the edge of the sea, suddenly I realized I was absolutely by myself for the first time in months, it was a strange feeling and all sorts of pictures flashed through my mind in a rush of emotion, I felt myself crying softly, but I was sad and happy at the same time, just me in my body.  Things came into focus and then disappeared again, moments of happiness, sadness, anticipation and fear.  Then I became calm and tranquil, just like the slowly lapping sea, I shivered and walked quickly back to the hotel.  Mama-in-law seemed to understand, she smiled at me and handed the sleeping child to me, I hugged the warm bundle of humanity and pressed my cheek agains hers, she stirred and opened her eyes, gurgled at me and went back to sleep. "you ok. Mama-in-law" asked, yes I said, my inner peace making my smile.  "you look so radiant" I was told. A lovely warm feeling.  I am still amazed at how lucky I am. 

This Blog Entry's Comment Board (7 comments)
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Posted on 07:15AM on Dec 20th, 2011
Hi there, nice to hear from you. yes you are completely right, I think one of those moments I will never forget, so vivid. I assume you are fine to? Thank you, yes I feel good, so maybe that shows on the outside too. Have a happy Christmas festival.
Posted on 07:18AM on Dec 20th, 2011
It is wonderful to hear that you found your self there at that moment in time. The release and acknowledgment of all the emotions that make up our day and the clarity that comes from that moment.

Thank you for sharing this and may the feeling of peace and comfort be with you for a very long time!
Posted on 07:24AM on Dec 20th, 2011
thank you, yes it was a bit like being part of a poem, a song or even a prayer. I had to write it down quickly after getting back home, the colours of the emotions were still vivid. I wish you peace of mind and happiness, over the Christmas time and beyond. thanks for writing.
Posted on 02:31PM on Dec 20th, 2011
Thanks Em, that does mean a lot to me, I'm sure your eyes smiled too. xx
Posted on 12:28PM on Mar 28th, 2012
That's awesome! You are lucky and every now and then every person needs a time to themselves, especially with a young family. Being a mom you have a lot of demands, but it sounds like you also have outstanding support.
Posted on 12:52PM on Mar 28th, 2012
thanks, yes that sort of time is precious indeed. My Mama in Law didn't want me at first, but that is another story. The first child changed all that, now she is very supportive.
Posted on 07:42AM on Nov 2nd, 2012
thank you, it was really quite surreal, the tears suddenly streamed out of me, then the happiness came. Oh the hard on would come anyway, ***** have a "mind" of their own. I wouldn't mind at all. The feeling of being, nicely put. xx oh I wrote a new blog just now.
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