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biondetta's Blog


A Tiny voice in the storm

When I went to bed it was windy, but not very, just some rain beating on the windows.  I had looked in on the kids, both fast asleep.   I drifted off after having gone through the events of the day.   It must have been about 02.00 hours when the shutters shaking in the really strong wind half woke me up, at first I just lay there trying to grasp the threads of my dream about my Grandma, but then a plaintive tiny voice made me wide awake in a moment.  I went in to check on the kids, the 1 year old standing in her cot, Mamaaaaa, Mamaaaaaah, the 5 year old was standing next to the cot trying to comfort her, they were both already quite cold, another fierce gust of wind shook the shutters and wailed around the house, I picked up the frightened little one, clasped her to my bosom, grabbed the hand of the 5 year old.    We retreated to my bed, I put the little one in the middle, the 5 yr. old got into the other side, I dived in too under the covers, we all huddled up together, the little one in the middle, I made up a story about the wind wailing because it was looking for the sun and couldn't find it.    The storm got worse, the little one suckled up to my breasts for comfort.   I think the wind had listened to the story, it wailed and shrieked around us, crying it's sorrow and shedding tears in the darkness of the shriven night.  Somehow we all drifted off to sleep, I awoke sometime later, thought to myself that this is a sort of cameo moment in time, like an old old black and white photo, something that will remain in my memory for ever, comfort me in old age, the easy breathing of the kids, their bodies peaceful in sleep, I relaxed back to sleep, savouring the moment in my mind, back to the dream world.  The morning greeted us with sunshine, well the wind did find it after all and blew the clouds away, just for us.  Thank you wind and sun, for all you have done.    

A cold body in the wee small hours

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Bitter-Sweet Melancholia

To set the scene, it was a grey old day today, rain, some sun, I felt restless, went to what for me is a "Magic" place, small woods on top of cliffs at the edge of the sea, there are old old trees there, some beeches, which I love and a few stoneage burial mounds.  We stood there looking out over the sea, taking in the magic.  so:

Tinges of memories,
try to grasp,
tenuous threads of the past.
Diffuse light through russet leaves,
whispering ethereal stand of trees.
Thoughts soar free,
So shall it be, a being here just for a while,
Grasped by seasons in their guile.
A tiny hand so fine,
Trusting eyes, dear God they're mine!
Shiver off the reverie, back in now, back in me.

Spreading the "Broody" virus

well yesterday I cycled with both kids to the beach, pretty early too, went to the nudist section as usual and set up our windbreak/sunshade pop-up tent.   The beach nearly empty, the sea only 10 meters away, I carried the baby and we walked carefully into the sea, the 4 yr. old rushed in and splashed us of course.   I walked into the sea so the baby was just in the water, it was only the 3rd time, she gurgled her pleasure, then we walked a little way along the beach in the sun to dry off.  Walking back to our windbreak I saw a young couple had arrived just over the "border" on the textile part of the beach.  We had a rest and then the little one wandered around and I saw the young woman talking to her, she came back and the woman came with her, they were from southern Germany and she said they had seen that we were naked and was that ok. here, I told her yes but that she and her husband or bf. (it was her husband) were in the textile area.  Turned out they had never been on a nudist beach before, anyhow they moved over the "border" and she stripped off straight away, the man seemed reluctant,   He tried to chat with my 4 yr. old daughter, but she didn't respond straight away, he seemed disappointed as she spoke to his wife no problem, I said oh just ignore her for a while.  Anyhow after a while the man went to swim and when he came back he stood there with his wet trunks on, my little one went and stood in front of him and said, "you must take the wet things off, Mama says it is not healthy, you get cold"  he looked embarrassed but he then took off the wet shorts and my little one was very pleased with herself.   We all got talking, then the baby woke up, she had been asleep in the shade of the windbreak, they had not noticed the baby before, oh the woman said you have two kids, yes I said, I have to feed her now, I sat in the shade and put the baby to my breast for her feed, the young woman was most interested, how old she was etc. and also about the breast feeding and the effect on my breasts.  I told her I did the usual muscle training to keep them in good shape, she paid my a compliment by saying they were in very good shape, her husband glanced across and grinned, ah you think so too she remarked, he nodded and we all laughed, we got on very well after that.  Anyhow she asked to hold the baby and he played in the sand with the 4 yr. old and she even let him hold her hand and walk along the beach, now she was chatting without a pause.   The woman was delighted and turning to her husband said "oh such lovely little girls I wish I could take them home"   The man grinned, we'll just have to make more effort won't we and you have to stop the pill, oh shall we she retorted.  I told them not to forget the sleepless nights etc. but I knew it was no use, they had been infected with the broody virus, no escape, from her body language I'm sure they won't be waiting much longer and he will be only too pleased to do his duty.  We all had a lovely day, they were travelling on to Denmark and Sweden, so I wished them good luck. 

Saturday morning Fever

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solitude

I was alone with the baby, 4 yr old in the Kindergarten, Mama-in-Law called round and she drove us to the nearby beach, the baby was fed and content already, we went into the hotel cafe for a coffee, I said I would like to walk along the beach, Mama-in-law said" ok. go ahead love, I would prefer to stay here with the baby and watch the world go by, I'll 'phone you if need be".  So off I went, I walked along the deserted beach, nearly no wind either, so the sea was so tranquil, just a few sea gulls around, after a while I took my mind out of gear and just wandered slowly along the edge of the sea, suddenly I realized I was absolutely by myself for the first time in months, it was a strange feeling and all sorts of pictures flashed through my mind in a rush of emotion, I felt myself crying softly, but I was sad and happy at the same time, just me in my body.  Things came into focus and then disappeared again, moments of happiness, sadness, anticipation and fear.  Then I became calm and tranquil, just like the slowly lapping sea, I shivered and walked quickly back to the hotel.  Mama-in-law seemed to understand, she smiled at me and handed the sleeping child to me, I hugged the warm bundle of humanity and pressed my cheek agains hers, she stirred and opened her eyes, gurgled at me and went back to sleep. "you ok. Mama-in-law" asked, yes I said, my inner peace making my smile.  "you look so radiant" I was told. A lovely warm feeling.  I am still amazed at how lucky I am. 

new arrival - the full moon baby

I have finally made time to write about the birth.  Well the baby was due on the 10th of Oct., nothing on that day, I made a joke to my man that it was waiting for the full moon!!  Finally she (yes another girl) decided to do just that and she made entrance onto the world stage at 03.52 hours on the 12th of October, 48 cm long 2.970 g.  the birth only took just about an hour.  My man was there to hold my hand, he managed to remain calm and let me get on with it and not talk too much, so apart from some choice swear words from me amongst the groans and squashed fingers for him (he had taken off his wedding ring on the advice of the midewife though) everything went really well and we now have another lovely little girl.  She is feeding well and making good progress, I have plenty of milk too.  I carry her mainly in a cloth sling, so she has body contact with me and is very calm, we have now managed to establish a routine for sleep time too, so neither of us are stressed, my man is very attentive but doesn't fuss around (that would stress me out).  I get all the hugs I need, I am sure I will need much more active loving quite soon now :).   sorry if I have not replied to some messages etc. recently, I will try to catch up soon.  My Mama is still helping me, my parents in law too of course, so I am very lucky. 

our 9/11 personal remembrance

well after the Last Night of the Proms (the little one stayed up late) we were in fine spirits.  First thing this morning my man raised the Stars and Stripes to the top of the mast.in our front garden.  Later on we watched some of the ceremonies on CNN, the raw emotion came right out of the TV screen, much more than expected.  My man went out and lowered the flag to half-mast.  Specially when the names of the dead were read out by relatives and loved ones, when a young boy said he had never known his Dad, he had still been in his Mama's belly - well - I felt my belly and tears came to my eyes.  We then watched the ceremony at the 9/11 memorial on Grosvenor Square, near the U.S. Embassy in London on the BBC, immediately the inscription on it caught my eye "Grief is the price we pay for Love" , again the names were read out and people walked forward and laid white roses on an inscription on the flag stones, again the emotion!!  Then a group of young children laid roses for relatives and loved ones who could not attend, so poignant.  We had explained what was going on to the little one, she asked if the children had "lost" their Dads or Mamas, I explained as best I could and she watched spellbound, then my man said we could do something and lay a flower or flowers at the base of our flagpole under the Stars and Stripes, so we did, no white roses but two pink ones and a not too big sunflower from the little one, it made us feel part of it all.  May they all rest in peace and the relatives and loved ones find some sort of peace on earth.  The criminals and religious bigots will not win. 

aisha

a few days ago I was watching the BBC news, the little one was chasing the cat around (he loves that game too), then they reported from the huge refugee camp in Kenya.  The terrible plight of the people touched my heart and I could hardly watch, mothers with children who had walked for weeks, only to see one or more of their children die.  I had tears in my eyes and the little one was suddenly there, what's up Mama?  I gave a short explanation, we watched together, then they showed a young girl and her brother, the girl called Aisha, saying that their Dad had been killed and then not long ago their Mama had been shot, they had arrived there alone.  It was a bit too much for the little one to understand and take in, so she asked what was going on, trying not to shock her I said that they had "lost" their parents, she seemed to take that in and as I had calmed down so did she, the report had finished too.  That could have been that, however, this afternoon I had dozed off on the sofa, the TV was on, some animal programme, she was playing with her dolls and the cat.  I awoke out of my doze and found her next to me watching the news, the same camp, even more people, then she suddenly said "have Aisha and her brother found their parents"?   She had not forgotten, so I told her they were orphans now as their parents were dead, but that we could help by sending some money to help, we will do that tomorrow, together.  I'm pretty sure more questions will come.  I told my man about it on the 'phone and said that I was at a loss for words, he was sympathetic of course, but I could almost see his wry smile when he said "you at a loss for words?"  That will cost him another hundred Euros to be sent! 

How the pain of my caning was eased!

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erotic adventure in an erotic club

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I could have danced all night!

Well I got dressed and applied just a little make-up, touch of smokey eyeshadow, not too red lipstick, smidgin of face powder, tiny dab of tresor in love, clear nailvarnish.  My man hung my coat over my shoulders and the taxi came, kissed him and the little one and off I went.  Arriving at the hotel I saw one of our reps. he took me in and introduced me to the people I didn't know already from the factory tour etc.  I sat between two male customers and the usual small talk began.  After the usual short speeches, we commenced with the buffet dinner, much better than too formal, one can move around and I can eat as little as I wish!  I was among the customers I have 'phone contact with, charming lively conversation, a bit of light flirting and male competition as not many women present.  When the music struck up I was immediately on the dance floor with the man sitting next to me, standard dances and he was very attentive and charming I could follow his lead very well.  He kept me for the whole session, hardly had I had a sip of water (no booze for me) than I was led away by a silver haired gentleman and we walzed to the excellent music, one hand did slip to my bottom, but I did not protest, anyhow he was a good dancer and paid me some compliments.  After a break and a round of small talk near the bar (the Boss's wife whispered in my ear "good girl, keep circulating" ) a dark haired plumpish man smiled, before grabbing me and pulling me onto the floor, it was tango time, but just us two, he pulled me close swung me around and man could he dance, it was just about sex without penetration, he was so good, he laid me back, groin against groin our heads close together and nothing else mattered just he and I, I followed his lead, oh wow!  we had an audience around us, he pulled me closer, we interweaving, my leg behind his, our heads high we had the whole floor, we finished with a flourish when the music stopped and he gave me a stiff little bow and a correct hand kiss, the audience clapped and the band gave us a drum roll, he was beaming from ear to ear and pleased as punch.  He twirled me around I curtsied and he led me to the bar for a well needed drink.  He had not expected me to be able to really dance the tango, I told him I had learnt from an Argentinien at a dance school.  I had many more dances, with him too.  Suddenly it was almost midnight, I said my goodbyes, got my hugs and kisses, the boss's wife was delighted too.  Back home with the taxi, I took a look in at the little one, she half woke up, but just sleepily said Mama you smell funny and fell asleep again.  I got into bed and as I had cold feet and hands I warmed them on my man, who complained bitterly, but let me get into the spoons position, I tried to talk to him, but only got grunts and bingo I was asleep. This morning took the little one with me to the hotel on the way to work, the coach was about to leave to the airport, said more goodbyes, the little one got lots of attention and off they went.  Took the little one to the kindergarten.  The boss's wife said it was good I had brought the little one, gave the customers the feeling of being part of a big family.    Life now back to normal.  Dancing does make me happy.

Evening out

I have quite a lot of contact with customers on the 'phone, now a group of customers, including some of mine are coming here today to the company, the boss has decided that I should be there to help look after them, evening meal and some dancing, so nice for me.  The boss's wife organizes such things, she asked me to show her what I would be wearing, as she wants things to go well.  So I took in my little black no. with a halter top, sort of Audrey Hepburn I suppose, I put it on and she grinning  said very nice, but come on sweetie you've a fine pair of breasts, if you've got it flaunt it, she is a very nice but very business practical woman.  Anyhow she had an idea what I should wear and sent me off to the shop she goes to, she phoned the woman there and well I got a short black dress with off the shoulder top and a lovely bra to match and the company paid.  Before the evening meal I am to go to the hairdresser with the boss's wife to get my hair done, hair piled ontop of my head, bit like the sixties but no so high.  I have shoes already.  I am not showing much yet, the dress is not too tight a bit like a shift but much nicer.  I have shown my man, he said wow, that is short, careful how you sit down and cross your legs.  I am at bit nervous, but it should be a good evening, about 5 or 6 men I know the voices, but have never met them.  I have been out with clients before, but these are really big customers with large turn-overs.  I am really looking forward to dancing, have not for a while.  Wish me luck. 

naming the Baby

My little girl of 3  is excited about the baby which is on the way and she puts her ear to my belly and talks about having a brother or sister (we have not yet decided if we want to know beforehand).  Well the other day after putting the little one to bed and reading her a story, she put her ear to my belly and then said something maybe a little strange, she said "Daisy is happy and wants to go to sleep now too".  I thought yes ok, she has quite a fantasy and of course talks to her dolls, teddies etc.  However the next day she talked about "Daisy" again, so I asked her who "Daisy" was, quite matter of factly she said "my little sister of course" and looked quite surprized that I didn't know!  She said that  "Daisy" tells her things.  Maybe we should find out what the sex of the child is, so that she won't be disappointed????  But I do like the name Daisy I don't think it has been used by any celebs. recently, so that makes it ok. I suppose.  Anyone else had such an experience with their kids??


These boots are made for sashaying.

This little adventure started a few weeks ago.  I had seen some of the so called "over-knee" boots in the magazines and on the T.V..  Out in town one weekend I saw my man looking at a girl walking by, he grinned and said "look she's got those thingumy boots" sure enough she had, tight jeans and brown suede boots. So we looked in the shops in our small town - nothing there.  Anyhow the little one and I went to a much bigger town one afternoon.  We entered a big shoe shop, had a look around, yes there the boots were, I tried a pair of brown suede ones on and sort of clumped around in an uncertain manner, then it happened, a tall well built salesman approached us, looked me up and down in a disapproving manner, no no he said, I looked up a little aghast, he grinned and said "come on sweety that's not the way, stand up straight look the world in the eye and strut your stuff" then he showed me how, he sashayed along in front of me, the little one was delighted and clapped her hands, I had no choice but to straighten my back, hold my head up high and sashay in imitation of him, a few people and a couple of the women staff gathered to watch. some music was playing and he strutted alongside me saying things like "shake it baby, that's it a bit more swank".  He moved like a ballet dancer his well fitting blue suit and his long legs and flamboyant manner fit for the stage.  Turned out he is gay and is a dancer. wow! He laughed and said "you've got to walk with confidence to carry off those boots".  So a routine shop visit turned into an event and great fun.  He further said, ah not the brown ones for you, black is what you want, but they had to be ordered.  So a week later we returned and bought the boots, I tried them on, had to prove to him I could still sashay and strut my stuff, we had a entertaining 15 mins. once more.  He then showed me that I can also wear them slightly pushed down under the knees, like pirates wear their long boots.  I invited him for a coffee, so he took his break across the street with us, he is between engagements it seems, hoping to get a dancing part quite soon.  I wished him luck and I am sure he'll make his mark.  I have never met a salesman like him before and probably never will again. Unfortunately.  An unforgettable shopping adventure.   I grin every time I put on the boots.  wow!

contemplation

yesterday my man, daughter and in-laws went to a nearby theme park.  I felt like having a little time of my own.  I dressed the excited little one, hugged her and my man goodbye then watched as the car drove away with slightly sinking feeling.  My Mama had often said that "the autumn crept up on her"  I now realized that I now had this feeling,  I now wished I had gone with the others, the sun was out and it was windy, with no real plan I dressed, got on my bike and rode to the beach.  I wandered aimlessly along the water line, the waves were autumn waves, they sounded different somehow, I closed my eyes and turned towards the sun, autumn sun too.  The air was fresh with a tinge of coldness, like icy fingers, the sea washed the stones which glinted when it retreated, to collect them is to take their light away, I sat at a place where I have sat so often, right at the beginning when I had first arrived here, when the beach had not yet accepted me as my in-laws had not, tears in the sand then.  A melancholy happiness made me shiver with anticipation of things unknown and the need to live now in the present.   I wandered further towards a wooded cliff top, there are round barrows there, they make the woods magic.  I stood next to one, I don´t climb on them, I imagined the person in there, had they looked out to sea here with living eyes and now spirit eyes?   I gust of wind disturbed my reverie, the wind whispered  to me, live your life now Mädchen, there is no other time.  Harvest festival, fruits of the earth and of the womb.  Suddenly I felt compelled to go home, my family had already arrived, the little one hot and flushed in my arms, words in a rush, my man with his man aroma.  The in-laws now kind faces.  Yes the Autumn had crept up on me, but we had embraced.   Later in the evening I phoned my Mama, Mama I said "The Autumn crept up on me too"  I heard the tinkle of her laugh, ah Kindchen bist Du nun auch soweit?   Daddas voice in the background, you women and your Autumn spells!   But the spell of Autumn is magic and compelling, winter now holds no fears.  B.

Best Daze if his life

This is something I read about in a newspaper, I found it pretty amusing:  It is to do with the tardy procedure required to expel a pathologically disruptive pupil from school.  As you might know these days a lot of parents do next to nothing to bring up their kids, but are quite prepared to attack teachers and blame them for their kids shortcomings.  The following is a letter written by Robert Burns in 1791.  He was defending a teacher friend who was being persecuted by a pupil´s parents for failing to educate their son.  He wrote:  " God help the teacher, a man of genius and sensibility, for such is my friend, Clarke, when the blockheaded father presents him with a booby son and insists on having the rays of science lighted up in a fellow´s head whose skull is impervious and inaccessible by any other way than with a positive fracture with a cudgel."
How up to date is that? 

Footy / Soccer how to select a favourite team!

I am not that interested in the world cup, so yesterday I thought ok. man watching it I can go out and play with our little one (2 and a half) but she wanted to stay with him on the sofa.  He explained which teams were playing with great patience, I think Italy and NZ, the game started and after a while he asked her which team she liked, she answered "the nice clean white ones"  or words to that effect.  I had to grin and thought such a simple solution. Later on that evening she was supposed to be asleep, but seemingly she has caught footy fever, oh dear, so she woke up, heard the TV (it was to loud really) and wanted to watch it with her Dad, ok. I brought her down and she selected the yellow/green team with the explanation they are prettier, fine and they won!  After 10 mins. she fell asleep on his lap. Carried her back to bed.  Maybe the pretty team will win the cup?  Hopefully she will watch rugby with me and see what real sport is, at least with rugby diving is a proper part of the game. 

starting early to be a so called star

I watched a British soap the other day.  In it a pregnant woman had a 3 D scan, then I thought, oh is the child an actors union member?  Will he (it was a boy) be pushed already by his parents ambition, will they end up saying silly things like "yes we always knew he was destined to be a star, on his first scan it was obvious he was a good actor, he was conceived for the stage?  Later on in life will he patronize us all saying things like "I knew from the first scan that I could never work in an office or a  9 to 5 job, I am much too artistic?  I could go on but I will not!  Or has this happened already? I would not be surprized!!!


bicycle Helmet

we are constantly told we must wear a helmet when riding a bike, so I bought one for my little girl as she now rushes about on a training bike (without pedals) all fine I thought.  I carried on without, spoils my hair!!  Well the little one does not like it either, but I insisted she wear it.  So far so good, but now she has been listening to what the other kids and mamas have been saying.  So the other day she would not wear hers because I do not have one, damn well caught me out.  So now I have had to buy one and be a shining example of parental responsibility.  Now having to get used to the thing, but I got a good one, very light and airy.  Must now ask are all you Mamas and Dads such a good parent as I have become???  Oh I am proud of myself. grin


1-19 of 19 Blogs   

Previous Posts
A Tiny voice in the storm, posted January 31st, 2013
A cold body in the wee small hours, posted November 2nd, 2012, 8 comments
Bitter-Sweet Melancholia, posted October 5th, 2012, 1 comment
Spreading the "Broody" virus, posted August 2nd, 2012, 2 comments
Saturday morning Fever, posted February 23rd, 2012, 2 comments
solitude, posted December 20th, 2011, 7 comments
new arrival - the full moon baby, posted October 24th, 2011, 4 comments
our 9/11 personal remembrance, posted September 11th, 2011, 3 comments
aisha, posted July 13th, 2011, 1 comment
How the pain of my caning was eased!, posted June 21st, 2011, 15 comments
erotic adventure in an erotic club, posted June 19th, 2011, 18 comments
I could have danced all night!, posted June 15th, 2011, 2 comments
Evening out, posted June 14th, 2011, 6 comments
naming the Baby, posted May 15th, 2011, 1 comment
These boots are made for sashaying., posted November 9th, 2010, 6 comments
contemplation, posted October 4th, 2010, 1 comment
Best Daze if his life, posted September 22nd, 2010, 3 comments
Footy / Soccer how to select a favourite team!, posted June 21st, 2010
starting early to be a so called star, posted April 16th, 2010, 3 comments
bicycle Helmet, posted April 15th, 2010, 7 comments
a new beer, posted April 1st, 2010
random blog, posted February 23rd, 2010
lucid dreams, posted February 17th, 2010, 3 comments
myths about sex and stuff, posted February 16th, 2010, 7 comments
sort of crazy, posted February 12th, 2010, 3 comments
*******, *****, *** and balls etc., posted December 28th, 2009, 4 comments
erotic book, posted December 10th, 2009

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